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Journaling

Usually at the end of the day I sit down to spend some time connecting and reflecting with God.  Often I think back through the events and conversations of the day...giving God a chance to bring to mind things I need to reconsider or take notice of or repent of or be thankful for.  I just let the strongest recollections of the day rise to the surface and then spend some time pondering what comes.  I guess I figure what rises may be what I need to talk with God about.

So today all I can really remember is putting together a giant crawl-through caterpillar and using glue dots to attach mini gummy hamburgers to invitations to Kids' City.

This could be a brief journaling night.

Random Bits of Advice

• Make a goal to see as many old friends in the next year as possible.
• If you've been driving by a sign that says "Road Construction Begins 8/27" for several weeks now, consider believing it and deciding on an alternate route.  Or at least don't be surprised when it takes you twice as long to get home from work.
• Make sure you walk barefoot in a lush patch of grass at least once in the summer.
• If you are a real estate agent, unless you also happen to be a famous movie or sports star, do not put your face on a giant billboard. 
• Go to a movie by yourself in the middle of the afternoon just to do something that seems odd but can actually be very enjoyable.
• Figure out who the people are that make you laugh the hardest and make sure you see them at least once a week.
• Don't make a decision at work that results in you having to glue 1000 wrapped mini gummy hamburgers to postcard invitations (hmmm...maybe this tip is exclusive to children's ministry?).
• Stop saying that you have too much to do.  Instead begin asking God to show you what you are doing that isn't Spirit-led.
• Open a window to listen to the rain.
• Make a fool of yourself in public on purpose at least once or twice a year.
• Breathe.
• Eat a bowl of your favorite ice cream before the week is over.

Mentoring

This past weekend had a blending of the present and the past.  Its events are best described in relationships...

On Saturday morning I drove to Bloomington, Illinois to have brunch with 5 women in their mid-20's.  They were each other's best college friends.  I was their campus minister.  Three of the girls--Erika, Sarah, and Katie--I had the privilege of mentoring for 2-3 years while we were all at Eastern.  We laughed as we remembered the blue "cry couch" that used to be in my office.  I think I'll always treasure the conversations we had there.  Real conversations about faith and struggles and failures and hope.  I know I had but a small part to play in the totality of their lives, but I gave a real part of myself to them.  I'm not sure I ever felt God's whisper of "Well done" as much as I did when I was investing in their lives.

Then it was on to 2 CCC services Saturday night at Yellow Box.  Some current relationships.  One in particular is bringing me so much joy.  I've seen God go after, capture, and now lead her heart over the past 9 months.  I am so grateful to have been used to help him in that.  She is taking steps right now that are challenging me in my own discipleship.

On Sunday morning I went to our Romeoville Campus to watch Kerry baptize her oldest daughter.  I've seen Kerry grow by leaps and bounds over the past 5 years.  When I first moved here, it was clear that God put us in each other's lives for a reason and the investment we both made was huge.  As the circumstances of life have led us in somewhat different directions the past couple years, our time together has been much more limited.  But watching her baptize her daughter was extremely satisfying.

I spent 3 hours Sunday afternoon with Amee in a Starbuck's in downtown Naperville.  It had been 10 years since we'd seen each other.  Recently she moved to Wheaton where she's serving as a student pastor for a small congregation of 50.  Fourteen years ago Amee and I met weekly to talk about God and life when I was a college senior and she was a freshman.  At the end of that year I baptized her.  Her life took some hard twists and turns in the years since.  But yesterday it was so beautiful to see a simplicity of faith in her soul.  It was almost surreal to be sitting with her again.

I've been wrestling a bit of late thinking about who I've been created to be.  Sometimes I feel like I get running so fast that I'm not sure if I'm me anymore.  Am I being true to the calling God's put on my life?  Am I serving out of my areas of passion and giftedness?  I have more questions than answers right now on this topic, but one thing I think I know for sure...I think I was made to mentor.  Nothing brings me more joy...nothing makes me feel God's pleasure more...than when I'm helping another soul take a next step in their journey of faith and leadership.  I think somehow I need to make sure my life is being used mostly to this end.

Sick Days

I've had a pretty miserable week.  Last Wednesday I knew something was wrong when I was sitting in a 6 1/2 hour strategic planning meeting and everyone in the room was sweating and I was freezing.  Later that night my fever spiked at 102.5 and then managed to carry on for 2 more days (thankfully not at 102.5 but in the 99.5-101.5 range).  It is now Monday evening and the only times I have been out of my house since last Wednesday were one trip to the doctor's, one desperate trip to the grocery store, and three slow walks out to the mailbox.

Surprisingly I'm not going stir crazy.  I really do love being home and I don't mind being alone so I can handle the isolation.  Really I couldn't do anything but lay and watch TV for a few days there so being alone was just fine.  The trip to the grocery store...yeah, could have done without having to do that on my own but it felt time for a test of my recovery ability.  It was a bit premature.  Hope I didn't breathe on the produce you bought later that day.

It's really an amazing thing being sick and then recovering.  At the height of your sickness you have this moment when you realize how often you take feeling well for granted.  How do people with chronic illnesses stand it?  What is it like to be in this paralyzing state and know you're not going to get better?  Some seeds of compassion grow in my heart.  And seeds of gratitude.  My mom calls daily with her concern and I remind her, "I'm pretty sure this isn't fatal."

You think about things.  Most of the time you're just miserable but there are those few seconds here and there where a reflective thought emerges.

And then the steps of recovery.  Being able to sit up in a chair for several hours becomes an accomplishment.  Suddenly you realize you swallowed 3 times without thinking about the pain because it has lessened to an ignorable level.  You want to eat.  You begin your reentry into the world.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like being sick and I'm really ready to be over whatever this is I have.  But there are some things that will only be discovered when you are flat on your back.  The roses among the thorns as one of my heroes would say.  I'm thankful to be healing.

The Bookstore

One of my favorite things to do is to spend an hour browsing at a bookstore.  I don't get to do it very often, but this afternoon I decided to stop on my way to the grocery store.  Barnes and Noble has a great Bargain Books section.  It's the most eclectic collection of literature you'll find anywhere.  I don't think I've ever actually purchased a book from the discounted shelves, but I love perusing the titles until something catches my eye.  Today it was Chicago: Then and Now.  A coffee table book with large pictures that I'd never purchase because it's more a book you look through once and besides...I don't have a coffee table.  But with this treasure in hand I found one of the comfy armchairs and flipped through the pages containing shots of buildings and streets as they looked in the early 1900s and in their current form.  I'm a sucker for historic black and white photography.

Sitting in that store always brings to the surface this desire I have to learn.  I wouldn't say that I grew up a reader but I definitely grew up a learner and as an adult this quest to learn seems to be best satiated through books.  Of course there's the stuff I feel like I should read related to my job...leadership stuff, church stuff, children's ministry stuff.  But in a bookstore I always find myself itching to learn something else.  It's usually random and changes between trips.  Right now I want to read about Jane Addams and the Hull House.  I'm also curious to learn more about Barrack Obama.  And I'm curious to know more about Edmonton, Alberta, Canada because my family might travel there next year to celebrate my Aunt & Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary.  Some of my random topics I get around to.  Time constraints keep me ignorant about most.

When I'm old I'm going to spend a lot of time in the bookstore.  Of course the Chicago: Then and Now book will probably be a lot different.  But I'm sure there will still be plenty of topics left for me to learn.