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Encouraging Words

I've been in one of those stretches where there is so much going on it feels hard to get my head around anything.  It's been that way for a couple of months.  I've been traveling a lot, getting more outside opportunities, and been trying to cover 2 jobs at work.  It's all good, just keeps me a bit confused at times.

So today I'm stuck in a bit of that confusion and must have had an odd look on my face because my boss, Jon, asked, "Are you alright?" 

I responded, "Yes, I just feel like I can't get a grip on all the details." 

His response,  "Well, if it makes you feel any better I can tell you that it's possible to function in that state for a long, long time."

So with those words of encouragement I lay my spinning head down for the night.  At least I'm in good confused company.

Cousins

My grandma's memorial service was this morning and 14 out of my 15 cousins on my mom's side made it here to New Jersey for the event.  Some I haven't seen or talked to since my grandpa died 9 years ago.  It's crazy to me how you can be related to people but really not in relationship with them.  Guess that's what happens when a family gets scattered across the United States and Canada.  It probably would be fair to say that I don't have a lot in common with many of my cousins.  Our lives seem so different.  The lack of communication only adds to that separation.  But still they are family and on a day like today it seems right that we are together. 

Last evening as people trickled into the Holiday Inn Express here in Ramsey, New Jersey, we took over the tables and chairs in the lobby's breakfast area and began passing around old scrapbooks and photo albums that some of our parents had brought.  Many of the albums were my grandmother's and we were told to take out any pictures we found that we'd like to keep.  Looking at those old pictures I realize how much we really are connected.  We remember the same spaces and share some of the same memories of childhood.  We all laugh when we think of my grandma scolding my grandpa with an, "Oh, Bill!"  When I opened one of the old albums and said, "This smells like grandma's house," the cousin sitting next to me knew exactly what I meant.

It's the shared heritage that makes us family.  That's why we all came and were excited to see people who we don't know much more than strangers.  That's why we all shuffled around the fellowship hall making sure we captured the best photographic moments of each other.  That's why being together feels familiar.

Grandparents

I haven't written anything about it, but my grandma died while I was in San Diego.  I was mostly filled with relief when I heard the news...she was so ready to go.  The last day or so of her life she just kept asking, "Why isn't he coming to get me yet?"  Grief has such a different flavor when Jesus is involved.

A few days after her passing it was time to celebrate my birthday.  I had a card from her.  She always planned stuff like that ahead.  She always wanted my Christmas list in September.  She didn't have the strength to write anything more than my name and "love, Grandma" but it will still be a keepsake I'll hang on to.

So I'll be flying to New Jersey on Friday to attend her memorial service.  I'm actually looking forward to it.  All but one of my 15 cousins will be there as well as my mom's siblings.  The last time we met was nearly 10 years ago at my grandpa's funeral.  It's probably safe to say I'll never see some of them again.  Grandparents are the glue to these kind of get togethers...even in their deaths.  But the passing of my grandma most likely marks the last gathering of this sort.  It's ironic, really.  When my grandpa died I thought about how there was nothing he would have liked more than to have all his kids and grandkids together in one room.  We came, but too late for him to enjoy. 

I will visit his grave during this visit and the place next to him where my grandma's ashen remains will be placed when the ground is soft enough to dig a hole for the small urn.  Just down the street I'll see their old house for the last time.  I'm sure I'll hate what the new owners have done to it...adding a big, ugly addition onto the front side.  I'll remember that small little ranch where I was afraid of mice although I never did see one myself.  I'll remember what it was like to lay in the back room thinking about how my mom lived here...even helped build the structure when she was just 5 years old.  I'll remember that peculiar smell that grandma's houses all seem to have and the odd smell of my grandpa that I guess I always knew was cigarette smoke but never realized meant he was a smoker until after his death.  How he managed to hide the actual activity of smoking from us all those years, I'll never understand.  I guess I just always thought my grandpa liked to take walks.

I have now joined the ranks of the "grandparent-less."  It's a bit strange.  Makes you feel a bit older.  Makes you look a bit differently at your parent's generation realizing that now they are at the top of the family tree.  But I don't really feel sad.  My grandma knew Jesus and I'm sure my grandpa was ready to see her again.   

Why is this so Funny?

Thanks to my friend Ben for finding something that made me laugh...  Not sure why this is so funny .

Inbox Victory

I'm feeling quite victorious on this Monday afternoon.  I was able to get the number of e-mails in my inbox down to 6.  This is quite an achievement for me.  Especially considering there were about 50 in there a couple hours ago.  Of course some I just moved around into various folders but most I was able to address and delete.

So how many e-mails do you keep in your inbox on average?  No matter what I do, it seems I always hover around 20.  This is the first time I've been in single digits for as long as I can remember.  Feeling quite proud.  If I had a printer at home, I could have made it to 4.

And no, Eric Bramlett, this is not an invitation for you to spam me with 100 one-word e-mails. 

Driving Forces

I've been thinking a lot lately about the driving forces behind our church.  I've been pondering, "What defines us?  What propels us?  What is most important to us?"  I think 2 things drive us:  A Reproducing Mission and Community.  We are committed to reproducing small groups, congregations, campuses, and churches so that more people will find their way back to God.  And we want to do that in the context of committed relationships.  I think our staff is totally driven by these 2 forces.  The Reproducing Mission focuses our efforts and I'm not sure a staff exists that experiences greater Community than ours.

What's been cool as I've been thinking about these driving forces is that I think they are the same 2 things that drove the New Testament church.  I think of Jesus telling us to go make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20).  And I think about him telling us to do that in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8).  He was telling us to help people find their way back to God and to do that in more and more and more places.  A Reproducing Mission.

And I think about the sense and experience of Community that characterized the early church.  Community defined them (Acts 2:42-47).

What excites me when I think about all of this is the amazing way A Reproducing Mission and Community came together to set the world on fire in the 1st century.  Hopefully as we continue to let these 2 things drive us, we can help do the same.

Shaming

I was surprised today by a tactic at the DMV.  My driver's license had expired on Sunday so I hustled into the office first thing this morning to get my new identification.  I was shuffled from the "take-a-number" line to the "take-your-information" line to the "take-your-money" line.  But I was not anticipating the next stop.  When I finished paying the cashier I expected to head over to the "take-your-picture" line but was detoured to the end of the counter where I was informed I had to take a written test.  Written test?  I've never had to do that before when renewing my license. 

Confused, I told the clerk that I wasn't aware there was a written test.  His reply, "Well, what did you do wrong in the past 5 years?"  That's quite a question.  No one told me to bring back copies of my journal so that I could answer it thoroughly.  But then it hit me...I got a speeding ticket last year.  The first in my life.  And I guess when you do something wrong you not only have to pay the fine you have to stop and take a test before you get to smile for the camera.

The whole thing was a bit odd to me.  The test was about driving rules and sign recognition.  It's the kind of thing I expect some pimply-faced 16-year-old was taking in another section of the office.  How in the world would taking this test rectify a speeding problem or an accident or some other ticketed infraction?

To add insult to injury I got yelled at when I answered my cell phone during the middle of the test.  As if my sister was calling to tell me that the orange triangle sign would alert me to upcoming construction.

Does anyone fail this test?  Before I took it I asked the clerk if I had been expected to study to which he replied, "No, it's fine."  So what is the point?  I saw none except the simple purpose of shaming a person for a mistake they already paid restitution for.  It's not a big deal, but it still struck me as a bit pathetic.

Someone needs to learn something about grace and forgiveness at the DMV.

San Diego

I've been in San Diego all week ignoring e-mail, reveling in the 60-75 degree temperatures, and seeing all the sites with my sister.  This has been my 1st trip to California and I have to say San Diego makes a great 1st impression.  A whale watching cruise, great restaurants, walking on the beach, touring the giant aircraft carrier, enjoying the ocean view from our 14th story hotel room...I've thoroughly enjoyed every part of this city.

Even the zoo.  I am not a zoo person by nature, but the San Diego zoo lives up to its reputation.  Check out the pandas...they were my favorite.

So tomorrow I'll return to the frozen tundra of Chicago and a mound of e-mail.  But this vacation has a "bonus."  My sister is spending a night in Chicago with me and my mom is flying in to cash in on the present I gave her for Christmas.  We're going to see "Wicked" on Sunday afternoon.  I highly recommend adding a home "bonus" onto every vacation.   

Consolation Prize

As you all know the Bears lost yesterday and what was even more disappointing was they played TERRIBLE, but I'm not too upset this morning because I woke up to a nice consolation prize.  After checking into the hotel last night after the game, I looked at the hotel map and realized we were right across the street from the ocean (too dark last night to see).  So this morning I got to take a walk along this route.  A nice consolation prize indeed.

Go Bears!

Tomorrow will be an interesting day for two reasons.  First, for the 1st time in my life, the team I root for will be in the Super Bowl.  And 2nd, I will be watching the game in Rookies Sports Bar in Oceanside, California.

About the 1st, I've been a Bears' fan for about 10 years now.  Many of you know I grew up in Cleveland and grew up a sports addict so the Indians, Cavs, and Browns have always been my teams.  But I lived in Illinois already when the Browns' owner did the unthinkable and moved the team to Baltimore.  Cleveland was Browns-less for about 5 years and during that time I became a Bears fan.  It's nice to have a team here in the city of Chicago that I really root for.  I'm trying to be a Cubs fan, but it's been harder to love them.  Of course that might have been true even if I had grown up here.  I refuse to be a White Sox fan because they are in the same division as my beloved Indians and the same reason has kept me from rooting for the Bulls.  But the Bears have become my own.  And I'm not used to "my own" being in the Super Bowl.  I'm not sure what it will be like to be more interested in the game than the commercials.

And why Oceanside, California?  I'm heading out with some others from my church to teach at a multi-site conference being held Monday-Tuesday.  We foresaw this predictament several months ago so made sure our Sunday flights were early enough to get us in town to watch the game.  So I'll be heading straight from the San Diego airport to Rookies Sports Bar hoping to get a table in time for kickoff.  There I will be in my number 23 Hester jersey hooping and hollering among the surfers and hoping that the Bears can make some magic happen down in Miami.  Go Bears!